Today marks the one-year anniversary since I hit the “post” button and sent my very first blog out into the universe for all to read (aka my mum and wonderful friend Hannah).
It’s exciting to know I have since hit the post button on 52 pieces of writing. Each and every one of which I poured my heart and soul into, each and every one of which I am damn proud of.
52 useful and valuable conglomerations of words I am so happy to know have impacted people’s lives for the better because my writing was never for me or about me it was for you. Which is why this 53rd post one year later is actually going to be my first post with a little more about me (including a ps. of 53 things you don’t know or didn’t need to know about me), the reason I started Fuelling Success, the intention of this blog and the wild year it’s been.
Thank You
Before I say anything else, I want to thank everyone who commented, liked, shared and contacted me to give me their support and feedback this past year (because it quickly became far more than my mum and friends).
Most of all I want to thank the people who chose to work with me.
I want to thank the brave souls who chose to let go of all they knew and dive headlong into the unknown. It is a privilege to work with you. It is a privilege to witness you reach your goals and go beyond to achieve things you didn’t know were possible when you started.
What A Journey
What A Journey This Last Year Has Been, Truly.
This has been the first year I can honestly say I lived as me.
It is a little over a year now that I would consider myself fully, wholly and completely “recovered”.
Not “behaviour free”, not “fighting”, not “struggling”, not “in recovery” and not a “warrior” but simply a human being going about doing human being stuff.
Although I have eluded to my past in other posts, I have not shared a blatant “my story” blog and there are a few reasons for this. Including the fact that I really wouldn’t know where to start because the truth is I could never hope to do the utter pain and torment of what it means to live with anorexia nervosa justice however, I no longer feel the need to because that is not where the magic is.
A description of that time in pain is insignificant in comparison to the meaningful and compelling life I now live and which you will also go on to fully live but the main reason I haven’t shared my story too much is that I wanted (and still want) you to choose to work with me not because of my background sob story but because I am a person who is of legitimate value to you.
When everyone kept insisting “your story sells” I kept researching, I kept developing, I kept learning, I kept experiencing, I kept practicing and I kept progressing myself because while my story very well may sell it’s not my story I want to sell.
The truth is it is not my story which will cure you and it is in your cure where my loyalties lie.
A Chance at An Authentic Life
What I do want to “sell” you is the chance at an authentic life.
This is why I put my whole heart into developing and sharing the information I do because whether you choose to work with me or not, I want to be adding value to the world not just throwing opinion into the confusing mix.
Yes, there is no denying the fact that what I went through inspired me and gave me the drive to become the person capable of truly helping others. I have no doubt that without having fallen sick all those years ago it is unlikely my daily life would now involve helping others regain control of their health, energy and vitality and fall back in love with life in quite the way I do this now. Who knows what my life would have been because unfortunately (or dare I say it fortunately?) that’s an alternate reality I will never know.
However, at the end of the day it is neither the fact I got sick nor the fact I got better that grant me the ability to help others it is the fact that I made a deliberate choice and continue to make consistent effort to be the person who can truly help.
Living What’s Possible Heals
Setting an example is not one means of influencing others it is the only means.
~ Albert Einstein.
The truth is it takes work to be that person because there is far more to being the person who can help then the desire or intention to help. My desire to help was always there but good intentions and good advice don’t heal. Congruency heals, living what’s possible heals.
To be the person who can honestly put aside her own learnings, own experience (own brilliance 😉) and be there completely for you takes dedication and it takes effort because it is not a skill, it is not a tool, it is not a strategy or an intellectual principal you can learn it is being that person (I think of it as the difference between “pretending” to be a chicken out of hypnosis or “being” the chicken in hypnosis).
I didn’t want to be one of the many people I saw in healthcare and life in general dolling out the most wonderful, useful, meaningful advice to others (take breaks, don’t be so hard on yourself, get more sleep and so on) and yet not doing it herself. That was confusing for me to see and I didn’t want to be that person who told others to slow down but was far too busy important to take this advice herself.
Your healing will come from building beliefs that say you’re capable, creating a future into which you are compelled and excited to experience and developing the real-world skills to live another way but ultimately it simply takes doing the actions to live another way, now.
Final Words
I didn’t recover because there was anything special about me.
I didn’t recover because I felt ready to recover.
I didn’t recover because everything was perfect and set in place and supportive of my recovery (far from it).
I recovered because I did the hard things when they were hard.
I stopped putting off until tonight, breakfast tomorrow, next week, next month, after I get through this or after that and I committed to the pain.
I committed to the pain before I had any evidence that it was going to be worth it.
I recovered because I stopped with the conservative help.
I recovered because I stopped with the help that was there to make me comfortable at the expense of change.
I recovered because I stopped with the help that was there only to rehash my past trauma.
I recovered because I stopped with the help that was there to blame me, my parents, my friends, school, magazines, the media or “society”.
I recovered because I stopped with the help that was there to talk only about the things I was incapable of.
I recovered because I chose help that for the first time ever asked me the question of what I wanted (not what others wanted for me or assumed I wanted).
I recovered because I chose help that wasn’t afraid to talk about the things I was most ashamed of and crucially not just talk but show me how to change them.
I recovered because I chose help that showed me how to gain control over what was going on in my mind (not just told me I “should” do it) and that’s when things began to change quickly.
Imagine if you thought differently, if you felt differently wouldn’t you naturally act differently?
The whole point of recovery is that the hard things become the easy things or at least the things which you no longer think about because recovery is not forcing yourself forever it is to simply do naturally, easily and effortlessly the things which only make your life better.
I remember vividly the exact moment the realisation hit me that things could not go back to the way they were because everything was different now and I want that experience for you.
Your recovery will take as long as it takes for your life to change and there is no reason this has to be long, slow or arduous in fact there is every reason your transformation can be rapid because our brains learn remarkably quickly when we work with them.
Your full recovery is more than a possibility, find the right help for you and it is inevitable.
Ps. 53 Things You Didn’t Know (Or Didn’t Need to Know) About Me
- I was a breech birth (aka came out feet first and ready to run!)
- My favourite animal is the green sea turtle
- If I could choose any superpower it would be breathing underwater
- I used to have 12 ducks but can only remember 8 of their names – Pickles, Black Duck, Hunter, Honey, Archibald, Duckie, B1 and B2
- The first item I remember saving for was a $100 radio (I was in a school musical and wanted to learn to sing!)
- The second item I remember saving for was a $200 surfboard (thanks to Harriets mum who would take us to the beach in the predawn light long before we could drive ourselves)
- I’ve had two pet snakes Ananta and Lilly
- I lived 7 years “off the grid” – ask me how to grow anything and I can tell you!
- When I was 20 my friend shaved my head and I grew it back in a mohawk
- I don’t know how to use make-up
- I once “slept” in a bed with 7 dogs at a bed and breakfast I was working at in Puerto Rico
- I love trying new tropical fruit
- In Bolivia a monkey stole my camera
- I have two science degrees
- After recovery from anorexia I still stick to 3 meals and 3 snacks a day, everyday
- I understand why people stay in abusive relationships when to everyone else it seems ridiculous because I’ve been in it
- I have a pretty healthy disrespect for bureaucratic protocol
- I love humans
- I learnt to tell the time sitting in the front seat of my dads old landcruiser travelling the NT
- I eat a lot of peanut butter
- If you’re my friend, I cherish you; you are my family
- I love waking up early
- I often sing the words of songs wrong (I also often want to sing and don’t know the words)
- I am a fab cook
- I know pi to 17 decimal places
- I used to be pretty good at skating
- My mission is to be a part of creating a meaningful world in which we all want to belong
- In my spare time I study
- I am a nerd and topped almost all my classes in high school and uni
- My favourite flowers are sunflowers (and red bottlebrush)
- I dance in my room (a lot)
- I speed often (accidentally)
- I once spent a year getting into medical school and then bought a one-way ticket to Mexico
- I have written a book on recovery from anorexia (so far unpublished…)
- I’ve been addicted to some unconventional addictions including exercise
- I don’t remember ever believing in Santa Clause
- I had most of year 9 off school when I was sick
- I love learning new words
- I went skydiving when I was 14
- I was once a part of a skipping team where we travelled around to different schools and performed skipping routines
- I’ve eaten guinea pig in Ecuador
- I practice hypnosis on myself a lot
- One of my jobs was reviewing articles in a scientific journal and I’ll never forget the article describing the flight trajectory birds took post being hit by wind turbines
- I hitch hiked New Zealand with my best friend
- I can say the alphabet backwards
- In Honduras I spent a night fully believing I had rabies
- I believe the amount you want to touch someone is a great indication of how much you like them
- For most of my life I was terrified that I’d have to eat for the rest of my life
- In all my life I have had just a few sips of one coffee (and then had to be taken to the beach for a 3am run after hours of talking jibberish and heart palpitations)
- I know how to tie only three different kinds of knots the ones for your shoes and two sailing knots
- Last year I learnt how to do push ups properly (thanks Tim)
- I used to be late for school frequently because I’d have to save all the bugs from drowning in the pool before I left
- Play with my hair and I’m yours
With My Whole Heart I Hope You Found This Information Useful and Inspiring.
Become Great. Live Great.
Bonnie.
6 thoughts on “Celebrating 1 Year of Blogs!”
Hahahahaha sorry I’m laughing at the rabies 🤣
Omg you were a breech baby!! That’s amazing!! I need more story on this. I need Margaret to fill me in 🤣❤️
Bahahaha did I not tell you the rabies story!? It was actually traumatising and I fully accepted my fate (aka inevitable death)! haha
Apparently she had quite the audience for my coming into the world 😀 I’m sure she’ll tell you (with a whole lot less drama then if you let me tell you a story I don’t remember 😉 )
And what is your fun fact!?
You’re welcome Bonnie! Glad to see life and work are going well!!
Bahaha yay thanks Tim! Changed my life and I am still on 5 a day most days 😀 Lil’ surprise guest mention every now and then to see who reads my blogs 😉 <3 😀 haha what's your fun fact to share with me?
Fun fact people don’t know about me: I can fly a plane. But haven’t since I was 18 years old.
Woah that is a fun fact! haha it’s probably just like riding a bike hey and you’ll pick it up easily next time the opportunity to fly arises 😉