Almost 30

As far back as I can remember I wanted to be older.

I wanted to be older so there was less attention on my body and more attention on my mind and who I was.

Most of all I wanted to be older because I wanted people to take me seriously.

Now I’m older and I realise two things:

1. How people treat you has more to do with them than it has to do with you

You cannot control how other people treat you.

In fact, you cannot control other people at all.

This can either frustrate you for life or set you free.

I chose to let it set me free.

I chose to be me.

To be the person I wanted to be now. Not pinned on when he changed or she changed or society changed but now.

There will always be an “I would, except…” and you can always blame why you’re doing or not doing something on others but if you do you will never get free (including even when that blame is real and justified).

Freedom and growing up I have learned are amazing but undeniably both come with responsibility.

Taking responsibility for yourself.

Even if you don’t know what you want to do in life and you don’t feel you have a clear purpose, direction or goals for your future you can create a strong picture of the type of person you want to become and simply do that; now.

You can be the person you want to be without anything changing around you at all.

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals”.  ~ Zig Ziglar.

2. Life is far more fun if you don’t take yourself so seriously.

I remember watching this quirky little movie called Dean Spanley years and years ago on a friend’s recommendation (thanks Lee) about a man who believed he was a dog in a past life and kept having all these dog memories and there was this one short line that stood out and has stayed with me since:

“Only the close minded are certain” ~ Dean Spanley.

I think as the years have passed since seeing this movie it’s become more relevant especially as social media plays more and more of a role in our lives and where we get our information from. There are many people so certain that their way of doing things is the best way, the way you should do things and the way everyone should do things.

When in reality there is this phenomenon called the Dunning-Kruger effect in which the less a person knows about a topic the more adamant they are that their point of view/understanding is right.

In other words, the more incompetent someone is the less likely they are to recognise their own incompetence.

Which is super confusing for those of us just trying to get the right health (or other) information (which is all of us) because if you think about it those who are touting this or that way of doing things with the most confidence are the most attractive because of their conviction but in reality they may just have the least understanding…

Confidence is sexy but it is does not equal competence.

Passion alone is not enough it has to be grounded in strong foundations of knowledge, experience, understanding and skill.

No matter how passionate my surgeon, for example, I’d hope she also had a great deal of knowledge (If you want to read my earlier blog about The Issue of Confidence vs Competence in Health Care which also goes into the Dunning-Kruger effect a little deeper click this link).

If hypnotherapy has taught me anything both during my recovery and now having gone on to help many others overcome their own major health problems it is that the more curious and the more playful (and the less serious) we can get the more able we truly are to create real and meaningful life change.

Would you be willing to be like a child; curious, playful without judgement or even the limitations of prior knowledge even for a few moments a day? If you choose to put it into practice (rather than into the “that’s a nice idea” basket) you may just experience your life, opportunities and wonder open up like never before.