Is it harder to recover the longer you’ve been sick with an eating disorder?…
HELL NO.
But you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise.
The number of times I was told my chances of full recovery were slim and “realistically” non-existent due to being sick so long was ridiculous.
Which is why in today’s post I’m going to give you 3 powerful reasons why the length of your illness does not limit your ability to recover and in many instances may even make it easier (truly!).
Reason #1 You Have All the Evidence You Need
If you’ve been sick for 5 years, 15 years or 40 years you’ve done a great job amassing all the evidence you need in order to know what the eating disorder can and cannot offer you.
You know EXACTLY what the day to day life of living with an eating disorder entails.
You know there are no hidden surprises and no beautiful secrets yet to be revealed if only you persist a little longer.
You’ve seen it all.
You’ve done it all.
You’ve felt it all.
You know where the monotonous eating disorder path is leading. Hint: it’s to more of the same.
Rather than lament this, please know that this is a great position to be in. There is more power than you can imagine in this simple knowing.
This can be the ultimate fuel to the fire of determination that will get you out.
When you make that decision to give something else a shot and you’re curious to find out what else there is out there at all costs, you will do it.
This is one of the definite pros of having been sick for a long time.
Yup you read that correctly, pros.
Why? because if you consider someone who has been sick for a few months or a year they may not yet fully understand that the eating disorder has nothing more to offer. They may wonder if the pros of recovery do indeed outweigh the pain of not changing because the pain of being sick may not have been too bad so far…
They may not have yet damaged or lost friendships, health, relationships, jobs, family and so on but if you’ve been sick for years you definitely have.
The resolve that comes with getting fed up can be your greatest ally because make no mistake about it recovery takes energy and commitment beyond simply making a decision.
Reason #2 Human Brains Are Not Fixed
I remember at 17 years old being told I’d created irreversible damage to my brain.
This scared me but if I’ve learnt anything from my years living with anorexia it is that fear does not lead to healing.
I now believe that there is no doubt I damaged my brain, but what I no longer believe is that this was ever irreversible damage.
Furthermore, simply because we’ve set up neural pathways to think one way over another automatically leading to the conclusion that this is hard to change is entirely bizarre logic!
This is just one (incredibly narrow) way of looking at it.
Knowing what I now know about neurobiology I know the human brain has infinite capacity for change.
There are fast ways and there are slow ways to create change and whether we make fast or slow change is independent of the time we have been sick and dependent instead upon the method used to make that change.
Fast change is possible.
People do it all the time.
The very fact that your brain has changed to accommodate and perpetuate the illness is all the proof you need to know that your brain is very changeable.
Meaning it can change back to before you had the illness.
The truth is though that things don’t go back to the way they were before.
The truth is you make your own new path.
A new path based on all you know now and that’s more exciting than going back to some previous form of “normal” because remember that previous form of “normal” was what allowed for the illness in your life in the first place.
You can create a mind where not only is it no longer an effort to not do the eating disorder behaviours, but it would actually be an effort to do them.
It takes effort, it takes commitment, it is complex and difficult but please don’t confuse any of those things with impossible.
Reason #3 Your Future is Independent of Your Past
This is a hard one for many people to grasp because we hear a lot about our past shaping who we are, but the truth is your past is just that; your past.
You’re not going back there. Ever.
If you think about it logically what has happened and what you’ve done in your past has nothing to do with your now and what you are capable of in your future.
The only thing that matters is the choices you make now.
Use the feedback you received from your past to adjust your actions in your now and in your future accordingly because doing this for the rest of your life will steer your life in the direction you wish to go. Simple.
In any case it is the absolute best any of us can do.
The absolute worst any of us can do is not adjust our thoughts, feelings and actions to the very real feedback we have and are receiving and carry on doing the same thing hoping we’ll miraculously get a different outcome. Or in the words of someone a little more clever than me “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” ~ Einstein.
Your time on this planet is likely going to be fairly long, you have plenty of time to learn from your mistakes.
Look at reality and use it.
Take Home Message
You may not know in this moment exactly how you will recover and if you think about it that is the only way it can be because if you knew you wouldn’t be sick. You’d have done it.
No one who recovers from an eating disorder knows exactly how they are going to do it, how long it will take, what they need to do in order to make it work or what their life will be on the other side.
Recovery is perhaps the greatest leap into the unknown you will ever take.
There are no guarantees.
And that’s ok because you don’t have to believe just yet that your life will be all that much better if you recover.
You just have to be open to recovering before you make the judgement call that it won’t be.
You just have to be willing to give it a go because there really is only one way to find out…
With my whole heart I hope you find this information useful and inspiring.
Become Great. Live Great.
Bonnie.
