There is no universal definition of “recovered” when it comes to eating disorders.
I know because I’ve spoken with hundreds of people who consider themselves recovered from various eating disorders and sure, there’s some common themes but it’s not a simple thing to define.
There doesn’t seem to be a checkbox you can tick off that equates to recovered.
It’s personal.
Since I recovered from anorexia nervosa, I’ve been highly involved in educating health professionals on what eating disorders are (and are not), helping clients one on one to reach their freedom and facilitating group workshops amongst other things.
In other words, I’ve been a proactive part of improving the quality of the way people with eating disorders are treated.
One component of changing the way people with eating disorders are treated for me has involved my being honest and transparent about what those things that helped me recover were.
The value of knowing what works (and what doesn’t) cannot be underestimated.
Because after 15 years of living with anorexia nervosa and attempting what felt like everything the mainstream medical model had to offer me I was more or less ready to accept that living with anorexia nervosa (or dying because of it) was my future.
It makes me sad to know that past Bonnie genuinely felt that way because I know there are others in a very similar position right now.
I want you to know you still have options!
Even if you feel you’ve tried everything, you haven’t.
You still have options.
Clinical hypnotherapy and neurolinguistic programming (NLP) were the two “treatments” that ultimately, I attribute my recovery to.
These were the tools that helped me understand my mind and which ultimately helped me change my mind.
In the rest of this blog post I am talking not so much about what NLP and clinical hypnotherapy are (you can see my earlier blogs on these topics including “What Can Hypnosis Do for Me?” for more information about how hypnosis and NLP work) but rather sharing some direct examples of things that these modalities directly changed for me.
Because as I mentioned “recovered” is a big word so today I’m breaking it down into some examples of the small things that add up to the big things and end up equalling recovered.
These are 3 examples of before and afters for me personally that both hypnosis and NLP directly helped me to change.
Beginning with….
- Eating No Matter What I Feel
Then
My default used to be “uncomfortable emotion” = don’t eat.
To be honest it was also often “enjoyable emotion” = don’t eat.
Don’t eat was my body’s automatic go-to.
It was my normal.
Eating was of the lowest priority and came last and only after I did everrrrrything else.
Every time.
Now
Now, eating is something I definitely prioritise and even when I’m busy I find time to fit it in.
Why?
Because it’s not an emotional effort.
It might be a time effort or a place effort or an inconvenience in many other ways but it’s not an emotional effort.
Aka it doesn’t feel horrible to eat.
Eating is now nothing more profound than just a part of day-to-day life.
It’s a normal and natural part of who I am.
Almost as if it’s always been so.
2. Comfortable With Hunger
Then
It was the strangest thing when I lived with anorexia nervosa that I’d never have thought I was hungry and even to entertain that thought or to think about getting food or to have food put in front of me was enough to make the hunger disappear.
Part of me knew I was hungry and part of me was adamant I was not.
I was unable to “admit” I was hungry.
But ultimately confused was what I was.
Food was so much more than food.
Being hungry was so much more than being hungry.
Now
Now, I get hungry, and I eat.
For the most part I eat well before I get too hungry but most of all it is no big deal.
My hunger doesn’t mean anything about me as a human being.
It means my body would like some food and that’s it.
I don’t have to second guess, to overanalyse “am I really hungry”, “what can I eat”, “how long until the next meal” and so on. I just eat. And move on.
It’s a normal and natural part of who I am.
Almost as if it’s always been so.
3. Emotional Regulation
Then
In the past everything that was emotionally challenging went straight to my heart.
It felt like I had no filter between me and the outside world.
The pain went straight to my core.
Things that had little or nothing to do with me rattled me.
Things that had a lot to do with me destroyed me.
And frustratingly I was unable to get myself out of it for often days or weeks on end.
Now
A few nights ago, a friend mentioned something about the war in Ukraine and immediately I felt tears come to my eyes.
Yes, I am still a very empathetic person, but I am no longer controlled or swapped by my emotions.
I am able to feel sad and I am able to experience all levels of pain and rather than collapse into it I am able to function and continue doing life even when I am upset.
And rather than stay stuck in it I am able to get myself out of it.
A skill I simply did not have in the past.
A skill I didn’t think I would ever have in my life.
A skill I thought you either had or didn’t have and having never experienced having it before hypnotherapy and NLP came into my life I had no clue what it would be like to even be that way.
“That way” now being my norm.
Now, it’s just a normal and natural part of who I am.
Almost as if it’s always been so.
Summary
I hope these examples from 3 specific areas of my life that changed profoundly due to my being taught and having the experience of what it’s like to work with the power of our unconscious mind (aka autonomic nervous system) vs against it allow you to see the reality of what it means to recover from an eating disorder.
It’s in the small things.
If you are feeling stuck with the overwhelmingness that is the monumental task of recovery I hope my sharing this gives you hope of what’s possible and more than hope it is my desire to inspire you to step outside the known.
If you’ve tried the same thing over and over to recover with minimal change.
Step outside that.
Be curious.
It may just change your life in ways you can’t yet imagine.
With my whole heart I hope you found this information useful and inspiring.
Become Great. Live Great.
Bonnie.
