Eating Disorder Recovery Blog

It’s been a while now since I saw the post on Instagram that gave rise to this blog. The post was shared from someone working in the space of eating disorder recovery who was themselves living with an eating disorder. This situation stuck in my mind as an important area to expand upon when

I remember hearing somewhat early on in my experience living with anorexia nervosa that it takes people on average four years to recover from anorexia. At this point in time, I didn’t really know what an eating disorder was and what I did understand about them, even while living with one was to put

At around the age of thirteen I was given a diagnosis for an illness I’d never heard of – anorexia nervosa. What I also didn’t know was that this illness would drastically and, in many ways, irreversibly alter the course of the next fifteen years of my life and undeniably have repercussions and echo

Imagine that after years of struggling to eat enough food, you’re able to finally give your body the nutrition it desperately needs. It should be a moment of relief, right? A step toward healing? But then, seemingly out of nowhere, things start to feel... off. Maybe your legs start swelling. Maybe y

When I lived with anorexia nervosa the way I thought about food was entirely different than how I think about food now years after recovering. In this blog I’m going to share with you some of the major distinctions in my then vs now thought patterns because while I often use my own experience as the

A year and a half ago I moved to Brisbane city in Queensland Australia. I spent a lot of time driving to and from the clinic I work at on the Sunshine Coast (about a 1.5hr drive each way). When we first made the move there was a big fruit shop enroute. I loved stopping at this fruit shop on my way h

The question of “what can be done to prevent people developing eating disorders?” was thrown into the mix of questions asked following speaking at an eating disorder training day a few weeks ago.

I remember a young person I was working with a few years ago who was sharing with me how she felt she was caught up in the land of social media. Specifically comparing themselves, how they looked, what they were doing and had done with their lives etc with random strangers on Instagram. This is real

I could end this whole blog in three words - it isn’t true. That feeling that tells you “Not yet”. “Soon but just not now”. It isn’t accurate. You’ve probably heard the phrase “feelings aren’t facts” and perhaps nowhere is this more true than when it comes to eating disorder recovery. Across the boa

Recently I was asked the question “over the past ten years of your life what’s something that turned out to be a blessing in disguise?” My response took a little while because when I really thought about it over the past ten years I’ve been through a lot. I tend to think about all that (the life I l

Recently I was having a conversation with three people who work on the mental health ward of one of the public hospitals near where I live. This hospital has a number of beds designated to patients receiving treatment for eating disorders. One of the things that came up following this conversation w

Recently I was having a conversation with three people who work on the mental health ward of one of the public hospitals near where I live. This hospital has a number of beds designated to patients receiving treatment for eating disorders. One of the things that came up following this conversation w

Last month I was presenting on eating disorder treatment to a group of clinicians working with inpatients (patients in hospital for eating disorder treatment). Within the many topics I touched on I brought up a few examples of how I believe we could better deliver treatment to those in recovery - ev

In previous blogs I’ve written about the stark contrast between being hospitalised and treated for an eating disorder vs being in hospital for treatment unrelated to an eating disorder (See my earlier blog “Three Things I Learned During My First Non-Anorexia-Nervosa-Related Hospital Experience” ). I

A few years ago, I was asking around for inspiration on topics to cover in my blog. A friend at the time suggested writing a blog sharing from my perspective as a Life and Success Coach what I felt were some of the most useful and productive ways people could spend their time to improve themselves a

It has got to be an entire year ago plus some that I had an experience I knew I had to write about. Despite taking me awhile to get there I think it is just as important today as I did then, so I’ve finally taken the time to get it onto paper. The Thing That Happened Anyone who knows me

There are countless explanations I’ve heard people use as they attempt to make sense out of why they, someone they love or those they are working with are doing the strange behaviours that make up an eating disorder. Why would anyone do an eating disorder? Why would anyone do something that is so da

In celebration of my book "Ready, Now: Your Guide to Doing Recovery from Anorexia Different this Time" being published I'm sharing with you the contents page so you can see what's covered in the book before you decide to purchase it. I believe you can also preview some of the book when you go to Bar

“How do we educate kids on healthy eating?” is a question that’s come up a few times recently at events I’ve spoken at about eating disorder recovery. It’s an awesome and valid question because of course we want our kids to eat healthy and grow up into healthy adults who also eat healthy. That

Almost eight years ago, I started writing a book. I was relatively fresh out of hospital. An experience that had left me reeling, lost and feeling more disconnected, different and alone than ever. I felt uncared for, misunderstood and abused. I felt untrusting and almost disgusted by the world I was

Recently I was speaking at an inpatient training day for nurses working with patients in recovery from eating disorders at a local hospital. Amongst the questions I was asked about my recovery was one I thought would be worth taking the time to delve a little deeper into here because it’s not an unc

If you’re living with, have ever lived with, work with people living with or have someone you care about living with an eating disorder you’ve probably heard the phrase “eating disorders are not a choice”. Not only would you have heard it you would have experienced it. But what does “eating disorder

In late November this year I am presenting at a hypnotherapy conference on the practical use of clinical hypnotherapy as a tool to facilitate people to recover from eating disorders. Last week during a group supervision call I asked the group if there were anything they would like to know about eati

Once upon a time in what feels like 20 lifetimes ago, I lived on a property and grew an unbelievable abundance of fruits and vegetables of all descriptions. I delighted in choosing the strangest and most exotic mix of plants I could source. I loved getting the latest seed catalogue to select the nex

One of the very first things that stood out to me about hypnosis both from my own personal experience on the receiving end and from going on to train to become a master clinical hypnotherapist was its focus on the positives. And I am not talking about brute “positive thinking” or any variation of pr

I just got home after presenting a workshop on how hypnosis can be utilised in helping people recover from eating disorders. It was so much fun. I love introducing people to two topics that couldn’t be more awash with stigma and misunderstanding! Eating disorders And Hypnosis. I am having one of tho

Many of the people I’ve worked with over the years as they recover from anorexia nervosa have shared with me variations of a fear they experience. A fear I’m going to share and explore with you now. There comes a point in recovery where they realise, they are making real headway. They catch themselv

The further away I get from the years I lived with anorexia nervosa the more I understand and feel very differently about the experience I went through compared to what I understood and felt while I was living it. One of the things that stands out to me is the understanding I now have that it wasn’t

I was going to title this “The 3 Things I Love MOST About Living a Recovered Life” but as I started writing it quickly became apparent that there’s no way out of all the things that I appreciate about life on the other side of living with anorexia nervosa, I could choose just 3 things I love the MOST.

Living with Anorexia Nervosa made me small. Not just physically but mentally. It also allowed me to be small with what I could ask for, what I could do and who I could be. Living with Anorexia Nervosa allowed me small in every sense of the word. What do I mean by this? I mean anorexia offered me the

During the years I lived with anorexia nervosa the message that I was fed constantly both overtly and covertly was that the only problem with me was I was too skinny. The message that all I had to do was eat more was loud and clear. I have a horrible memory that still makes my skin crawl when I thin

I remember the first time I had sex with the person I’d go on to form a 7-year relationship with. I remember how acutely ashamed of my thinness I felt. I left my shirt on. We talked about it a long time later, perhaps years later. Which is when I learned with surprise that something I’d done, leavin

I have been a part of the Eating Disorders Queensland’s incredible “Lived Experience Speaker Program” for a few years now and within this I have had the opportunity and absolute privilege to speak with and meet many different audiences about my experience living with and recovering from an eating di

In this blog I’m addressing a question I get asked on a semi-regular basis. Mostly in the context of when I take the time to post a snippet of the foods, I eat to my Instagram stories. And the question is along the lines of whether I think I eat the amount of food I do (the implied being that the am

Many of the people I work with who are living with and wanting to recover from an eating disorder share with me that they have a sense they are “putting recovery off” or keeping it at arm’s length. They say they feel like they are dipping their toes in, challenging themselves sometimes but not fully

I remember about a year ago driving in a car full of friends on our way back from a road trip where we’d spent a few days enjoying some gorgeous beaches and sunshine when the conversation turned to work and what we all did “for a living”. I remember sharing that I often alter my response to this que

A couple of days ago while on a flight back from a quick adventure to New Zealand to celebrate some massive achievements of my partner the conversation turned to the things we had to do when we got home. One of the things I shared I’d have to do within a few days of being home was to write a blog. H

Yesterday morning while eating breakfast I was listening to a talk about how we are always trying to make decisions and choices that are best for our future selves.The speaker pointed out that this is a bit silly given that we are not our future selves, and we therefore can’t truly know what our future self will want.The example the speaker gave was very loosely a story of a 38-year-old woman who worked in a nursing home and saw the mental and physical decline of many of her patients. She was certain she wouldn’t want to go on living if this was her future and requested her husband not do anything to prolong her life if she was to mentally or physically decline in any similar way.

I’ve had a few conversations lately about eating disorder recovery and the work that I do that have inspired quite a bit of material for my blogs. So, thank you to the people who sparked these conversations. I think it’s always better when I can write about things that people think and feel out ther

I remember the first time a psychologist asked me if I had “food rules”. I was maybe 14 or 15 years old. I’d never before heard the phrase before. I didn’t have food rules. I certainly had ways of eating that were ok and ways of eating that were not ok, but I’d never thought of them as rules. They w

A few weeks ago, I received an email containing amongst other updates on what’s new in the world of eating disorder treatment the information that earlier this year the InsideOut Institute was awarded a $1.2M grant from the Medical Research Future Fund (MRFF). This grant is going to be used towards

Last week a new client looked me dead in the eye and asked me if I would honestly be ok gaining weight when I was older?... My work more than anything is centred around helping people to recognise that their body is not, has never been nor ever will be the problem. I’m sorry if you were ever made to

“But it makes me happy” “But I’m really not doing that much” “But I used to do so much more” “But the (insert a myriad of medical professions here) said it was ok for me to (insert exercise here)” “But it’s the only thing I’ve got” I can hear the panic rising behind the words. The escalation in the

Until my mid 20s I had only heard the word “coach” used in the context of sports coaching. Now, the word “coach” has come very much into popular usage and not just sporting wise. Life coach, health coach, relationship coach, business coach… It seems there’s a coach for everything. Which is why in to

In this blog I’m diving into 3 more fears I had when I lived with anorexia beginning with the fear that… Life Wouldn’t Be Any Better If I Did Recover Phewf this was a big one for me. The question of “what was the point of putting in all this effort?” was a question I remember feeling often. Sure, th

“When I lived with anorexia nervosa” is a phrase which has become increasingly surreal to say. It feels almost like it all happened to someone else… But I’m still going to start this blog with that very phrase. When I lived with anorexia nervosa, I was tough on the outside and more often than not te

There is no universal definition of “recovered” when it comes to eating disorders. I know because I’ve spoken with hundreds of people who consider themselves recovered from various eating disorders and sure, there’s some common themes but it’s not a simple thing to define. There doesn’t seem to be a

When I look back on the years, I lived with anorexia nervosa the overarching theme was a pervasive sense of shame. A shame that went right into the core of who I was. A shame the seeped into every corner of my existence. Everywhere I went, everything I did there it was. Reminding me that I was not e

My answer to the question “how did you deal with weight gain during recovery?” a question I get asked a regularly when I am speaking at eating disorder recovery support groups may surprise you. Because my answer is, I delt with it well. Very well. In fact, I was expert level at weight gain. I set my

Last week a friend who is fantastic at coming up with interesting questions asked me “if it was possible to do a test to see what illnesses you were predisposed to would you do it?” Without missing a beat I answered with an enthusiastic “hell yes!” I actually felt the twinge of hot tears of frustrat

…And the world kept shouting at me to be stronger, tougher, harder. Demanding I don’t be so sensitive, not trust so soon, question more, shut out, shut down, care less, give up, get over it, move on, say no. Everything told me it was my fault. That you “teach people how to treat you”. Everything tol

Life after anorexia is not something I imagined I would get to experience. It is certainly not something I ever imagined I’d write about. I never imagined that I would be sharing candid and honest snippets of insight into what was once my biggest secret. What was once my biggest source of shame and

If you’ve kept up to date with the last two blogs, I’ve posted over the past two weeks where I’ve introduced and briefly described the useful presuppositions/assumptions of NLP you’re well positioned to dive into this one. Because in the following blog I am about to share with you the last 4 of the

This blog is a continuation from last weeks blog Why I Use NLP to Help My Clients Succeed: 7 of the Most Useful Lies of NLP . In it I’m sharing a further 5 of the 16 NLP Presuppositions. I love that these presuppositions are otherwise known as the lies of NLP to remind us that we can never know anyt

I remember exhausted nights spent eyes wide open laying on hard beds freezing under fluorescent hospital lights. I remember cords and catheters jutting from what felt like every piece of exposed skin. I remember the endless pokes and prods and voices that always seemed too loud, too harsh speaking w

For the past week I’ve been researching and reading papers on the statistics around recovery rates of people living with eating disorders.I’ve always known the figures around rates of full recovery were heartbreakingly low and that anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness but as with most things when I started looking into it the data available simply doesn’t give a clear consensus.However, what it does show, no matter what way you look at it, is that the chances of making a full recovery from an eating disorder are uninspiring to bleak.

Today I came across some rare photos taken during the years I lived with anorexia which were captured at points in time where I looked visibly unwell. They’re rare because I destroyed or deleted most of these types of photos long ago. They’re rare because there was never many to begin with. I wasn’t

It’s time for Accredited Practising Dietitians to be recognised as a key profession in the management of mental health, says Dietitians Australia. As the nation wraps up Mental Health Awareness Month, ensuring our country has a comprehensive and effective workforce that can adequately supp

When a wonderful friend last night suggested I write a blog on the topic “how to be a good friend to someone suffering with an eating disorder” there were three things that came to my mind immediately.Three important things I instantly knew I’d be including when I sat down to write this post.Well, to be accurate four things because firstly, I knew I wasn’t going to be using the word “suffering”.

Late night car conversations are to thank for the spark of inspiration behind this post. On the drive to drop a friend off after a party last weekend our conversation turned to work. We talked about why it is it that we do the different work we do. I do the work I do because mental health stru

Entry 1. I am lying now about what I’ve eaten. Entry 3. I don’t see it. That I can be so thin that I am worthy of your worry, your help. I’m not sick enough. I could get better any time I choose. It is just that I have to choose and sticking with it is the hardest. Entry 12. I wonder if there were m

A few months ago, I watched a movie with a friend that included a few scenes where they juxtaposed certain situations the character found himself in against his expectations going into those situations. “Expectation” vs “reality”. It was a cool concept! I’ve since occassionally enjoyed creating my o

I remember the fear as I sat in the waiting room of the doctors surgery. My hand shook as I signed the new patient forms and went about mentally assembling the strong facade I knew so well. The doctor called me into his office and before the door had even closed behind him, I told him abo

I was presented with the concept of the “healthy self” and the “eating disorder self” early on in my treatment for anorexia nervosa. I remember a psychologist asking me what I’d like to call the eating disorder. I don’t think I responded with much more enthusiasm beyond an “I don’t know” and maybe a

I got out of the shower and dried the water from my skin, gently, deliberately, kindly. I darkened my eyelashes with mascara, slowly put on clothes, and for the first time in months, I looked at my reflection with warmth and sincere respect. I sat with friends and heard myself making jokes, Fearless

Refeeding syndrome, most likely yet another one of the many horrible things I’d be blissfully oblivious to the existence of, let alone the experience of, had anorexia nervosa never entered my life. What an alternate reality that would have been. And because you’ve clicked on a blog about refeeding s

As I sit here and reflect on my recovery from anorexia nervosa it’s impossible to pinpoint a time where things changed.It’s equally impossible to name a precise day where I knew recovery was done.It sure wasn’t the case that one day I was sick with anorexia nervosa and the next I was happy, healthy and free.

“I'm not good enough” I sit and listen to this sentence spoken nonchalantly from the lips of yet another beautiful, intelligent, confused woman living a life that has been far below what she is capable of.She says it offhandedly, barely giving it time to settle in the air of the room between us before moving on.So unquestionably true to her it is.

One common finding in the bloodwork of people in recovery from anorexia nervosa is high levels of homocysteine. If you have a quick google search of the complications associated with high blood homocysteine levels the results are somewhat scary and confusing. So, I understand when my clients, their

It seems absolutely bizarre that weekly blood tests were once a normal part of my life (for such a long time!) It seems so strange that I could ever have needed those results (along with weight, temperature, blood pressure, ECGs etc) to tell me if I was or wasn’t ok or more accurately to tell the do